Eat Your Heart Out, Agent Ska

Another work-week behind him, Mayor Ravenstahl steps out of the office and heads off to the pub for a quick pint — but not before running afoul of a Pittsburgh Comet stake-out.

After reading yesterday’s Rich Lord article, our first thought was, “Wow! This is the kind of yellow journalism one might expect out of Jeremy Boren!”

“This mayor goes from sometimes 6 in the morning to 1 or 2 [a.m.],” explained Chief Harper.

Our next thought was that perhaps establishing the high cost to taxpayers of overtime dignitary-protection is an attempt to deter the growing insistence on secrecy concerning our Mayor’s whereabouts.

Then we were called [redacted] nuts. Maybe we are.


Upon his triumphant return to the Marty Griffin program on KDKA radio, Luke turned down an invitation by Marty to say whtether this kind of reporting “grates on him.” Later, when asked if the story was “more political than reality,” Luke said:

You know, I’m getting thicker skin, Marty. I am, and I think that’s important: you understand that these stories are going to be written, and … it’s part of what we do as leaders and mayors of cities, and I’m comfortable with that.

This has been a test of the Emergency Thick-Skin System.

Had this been an actual emergency, the satire you just viewed would have been followed by a brilliant display of news analysis, editorial polemic and/or other instructions.

This was only a test.

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