The DeSantis Kickoff

The young lady who gave a brief introduction for Mark DeSantis identified herself as a registered Democrat.

However, with Pittsburgh having reached a “point of crisis,” she could “no longer support the status quo.”

DeSantis opened by saying that he is “all about change, in a city that desperately needs it.” To illustrate this, he claimed that every man, woman, and child in Pittsburgh bears $10,000 worth of debt and liability.

His first applause line was that “when faced with 4th and inches, we’ve punted every time, and the clock has run out.” (Sorry, Agent Ska.)

DeSantis packed a bigger wallop at the podium than he has on recent TV appearances. He was at his most animated on issues of sound management and accountability. He punctuated his remarks with a sort of dart-throwing hand gesture.

He said pointedly that Senator Heinz had taught him that it is only through selflessness, not self-promotion, that a person can (something something).

Of the three pillars of DeSantis — efficiency, effectiveness, and transparency — he said we currently have none. Yet these three pillars now support just one corner of a whole hexagon, which includes such items as fewer taxes and sustainable economic development. He said we can’t build a strong economy on restaurants and shopping malls alone.

He acknowledged that public safety is a growing concern. Rather than let it slide year-by-year, he plans to “nip it in the bud.”

We should not ask anyone for help, he said, until we prove that we can manage our own affairs, in an obvious reference to Ravenstahl’s attempts to organize a state-wide pension liability pool.

DeSantis pledged to sign a “management contract” when he takes office. He will require his department heads to sign the same pledge, and then post it online. He seemed very excited about this.

As he was wrapping up, DeSantis referenced Herakles of Athens, whom he called “history’s first great mayor.” We believe he may have misspoken. Herakles never held political office, but did help to retrieve the Golden Fleece, and rescued the city of Troy from a sea monster sent by Poseidon.

FINAL CORRECTION: DeSantis did say “Pericles,” whom he quoted as saying, “All good things on this earth flow into the city, because of the city’s greatness.” (LINK) The Comet can not honestly say it regrets the error.

Several Republican notables were in attendance, including former congresswoman Melissa Joan Hart, whom we understand still has a ton of campaign cash burning a hole in her war-chest.

5 thoughts on “The DeSantis Kickoff

  1. Mark Rauterkus

    The begging part is more than just the pension summit and bailout hype. Luke and Dan Onorato are quick to go to Harrisburg and beg. We need bailouts. Tom Murphy was full of glee when distressed status was handed down to our city. The Dems always want others to save the day — not doing it ourselves, not pulling our own weight. Envy has been a driving force for the one-party machine. That attitude is what needs to stop.I’ve said, “Pull Your Own Weight.” We’ve got to be in charge of our own destiny. We’ve got to kick-out the overlords. We need to fix our own house before we do much talk of mergers.

  2. Anonymous

    Actually, he did say Pericles. The written text of the speech was in the press kit. Also, I think you’re referring to Hericlitus.

  3. Bram Reichbaum

    We could have sworn “Herakles” came out of his mouth. Either way, Pericles makes more sense.We certainly don’t mean Hericlitis. He was a real-life philosopher that was never portrayed by the underrated Kevin Sorbo.


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